Kimerald: Tagos ng Dugo

Over the years, television has given us a number of great ads and sadly a lot more of the downright crappy ones. Topping my list of the worst ads I've seen in a long time is the new Whisper TV spot featuring the excruciatingly boring pair of Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson, whom we all know from the equally gut-wrenching ABS-CBN brainchild: Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition.

Hey, I like Kim. I think she's a talented girl. Kudos as well to Gerald, if only for his good looks. What kills me is the concept of the ad itself, "beautifully" wrapped in the tagline: Why Men Love Whisper.

Aaarggghhh! What the f_#!@^%?!

Why on earth would someone in his right frame of mind craft a tacky copy such as that? Who's to blame? The copywriter? The creative director? The account executive? Or maybe the client? Certainly not "Kimerald". After all, the poor kids are mere puppets to the whims of the supposedly "brilliant" creative team of whatever advertising agency that whipped up this outrage.

FLASH NEWS DUMB ASSES: MEN DON'T GIVE A S---!

Nobody really cares what a woman's choice of napkin is, except the woman herself. To say that "Men Love Whisper" reeks of masochism and plain stupidity. Yeah, we get it. Women need constant approval from their men, whether it be about their clothes, how they look, if the tinola tastes good, and a cornucopia of other mundane stuff. But not with napkins, for God's sake!

Hey, nitwits, were you aiming for a metaphor? Are you screaming "creative license"? Suck my neighbor's varicose-laden c--k!

Please, please, please DO NOT equate a woman's desire for the best napkin product to what a man likes about his gal. Eggs are not chicken. How's that for a metaphor!

And whoa! At the end of the ad, Kim quips: "Have a happy period!"

What's to like about three days of blood-soaked panties not to mention those energy-draining abdominal cramps and crazy mood swings? Is that happiness to you? YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO MAD I COULD EAT YOU SKINNED AND RAW!

I'm a guy and I certainly don't know shit about menstruation but I have a mother, female cousins and aunts and I've never--in my whole life--seen any of them burst out of the bathroom shouting "Halelujia! May tagos ako ngayon!"

I wonder what Ate Vi (Gov. Vilma Santos-Recto) would say about this latest hare-brained Whisper ad. Her portrayal of a raving maniac in Tagos Ng Dugo should remind the people behind this advertisement that they have blood on their hands. Yuuck!

(Photo courtesy of LastFM.jp)